Revised - Phase Three Writing

Rethink Locks: A Homegrown, Organic Movement

Once upon a time, growing locks meant something—it had conceptual significance.

Thick tufts of rolled, matted hair denoted liberation, devotion,
commitment, and a dedication to spirituality. Locks had nothing to do
with hairstyles. Rather, locks declared freedom and symbolized the
breaking of psychological slavery, imperialism, and colonialism.

Since then, locks evolved from personal expression to product, sales,
and trend. You can buy them in a package. The standard locking
procedure for many people nowadays feels canned and comes with a
warning, by me: a five-year, organic-only locking maverick. You go to
the hair shop, order up, and "PING!" What do you have: generic,
mass-production-style locks caked with product, forged together with
heat, and done with impersonal care; 75 dollars on average to start,
and 50 dollars every other week to maintain.

Committing to locks compares to having a child. A lifelong,
time-consuming, and sometimes disappointing and frustrating
commitment, your locks will need attention, care, nutrition, guidance,
discipline, and training. That said: why not rethink before starting
yours? Why not grow your own organic locks?

Typical of mass production, quality gets lost in the fray of cranking
out multiple versions of the same things. Natural hair shops line
urban streets like trees line suburban streets. Locktician is actually
a word and an occupation! The result: people paying top dollar for
natural hair. Don't get caught up. Do them at home. Grow them
naturally; discover homegrown locks.

With a twist.

Contrary to the dread stereotype, there will be no dusty, dirty
hair—just clean, healthy locks, chemical-free and guided by nature.
You'll also save a buck or two and learn to pamper yourself through
hair.

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I see you bubbling all over the place -- you're yeasty, and I think it's grand!

LONG AWAITED: Compare/Contrast Show & Tell

As promised, I'm posting my last compare/contrast example. Better late than never.

 

I chose a story from Miranda July's anthology, No one belongs here more than you, called The Shared Patio. It's an eerie story about loving from a distance. The main character, the female neighbor, is in love with her male neighbor, Vincent, who is married to Helena, who the narrator feels is all wrong. The author (July) and narrator (whatever her name is) try to expose the fallacy of their marriage, cleverly using a basic compare/contrast structure to highlight similarities, differences, and, overall to tell the story.

 

Here's a link to the full story:

http://www.all-story.com/issues.cgi?action=show_story&story_id=292

 

As I mentioned in class, I spent last week in a writing whirlwind—analyzing my own and obsessing about others, leading me back to Miranda July, which I have not picked up since last summer when I bought it. In fact, The Shared Patio is probably the only story in the book that I've actually read from start to finish. Of all the examples of compare/contrast examples I found, this story fit best what I was looking for in that it doesn't just "utilize" compare/contrast—the story itself is a big compare/contrast, with the success of the plot based on its delivery and execution.

 

What's additionally interesting about her use of compare/contrast in light of two strangers loving each other is that, as the reader, you can tell when the comparison, or even the contrast, feels forced or stretched. July forces the reader to critically look at the narrator and think: "What a crazy bitch this person is. How pathetic." Yet, there is somethinng whimsical and childlike about the narrator's love that we sense through the "long shot" parallels, which helps us not completely hate the narrator, perhaps.

 

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Examples of Compare/Contrast:

 

"He is my neighborhood. He is of Korean descent." - p.1

"Vincent has a wife named Helena. She is Greek with blond hair. It's dyed." - p. 2

 

"One reason Helena and  I would never be close friends is that I am about half as tall as she. People tend to stick with their own size because it's easier on the neck." - p. 2

 

"He is the art director of a magazine called Punt. This is an unusual coindence because I am the floor manager of a printer and we sometimes print magazines. We don't print Punt, but we print a magazine with a similar name, Positive. It's actually more like a newsletter." - p. 4

"Because we are in the same business, he didn't have to explain that "typo" is short for typographical error." If Helena had come out, we would have had to stop using our industry lingo so that she could understand us, but she didn't come out because she is still at work. She's a physician's assistant, which may or may not be the same thing as a nurse." - p. 5

 

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There are more, but I'm not getting into tricky copyright bullshit. Click the link above to find my examples and read more.

 

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I see you bubbling all over the place -- you're yeasty, and I think it's grand!